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Tinder Profile Bios

For those of you using Tinder, one of the biggest challenges is creating a funny profile bio. If you need help, here are some hilarious bios that you can try out on your profile!


Our relationship should be like Nintendo - classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it and then shoving it back in.

On a first date, I will carve our initials in a tree. It's the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife.

I could literally put anything here and you thirsty-ass suckers would still swipe right.

I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realize I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot.

Damn boy, you must be my GPA, because I know I could do better, I'm just too lazy to actually try.

It's tough being a single mom. Or so I'm told, I wouldn't know since I don't have kids.

The only thing lower than my standards is my self esteem.

I'll buy you drinks until I look good... so I won't buy you any drinks.

I'm on Tinder to make friends the same way I'm on pornhub to see the plumber repair the sink.

If you can't handle me at my worst, I really commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because that could be potentially dangerous as broken glass can easily cut through your clothing and injure you.

I enjoy long walks on the beach... except I can't walk and the sand messes up my tires.

I'm just looking for a rich girl willing to support my expensive drug habit. My mom won't let me use her minivan anymore because I ate all her lean cuisines, so you must also be willing to drive me around.

I'm cultured in that I like imported beers and traveling.

If you can't laugh at yourself, I probably will.

Let's have a who's better in bed contest. I'm hoping to be a sore loser.

A kiss makes my whole day. Anal makes my hole weak.

Your parents will love me, but your neighbours won't.

Carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets. Unmoderated comment section in the sheets.

I'm the good thing small packages come in.

Looking for something to do while my boyfriend's dead.

You know when you're walking by and staring at a perfect 10, and you accidentally walk into a trash can? I'm the trash can.

Swipe right if you're a real 90's kid who remembers the death of your innocence at the hands of soul-crushing recession killing all opportunity.

I am a hermit. I do not like to laugh and I love making people miserable. My walls are black and I have no furniture. I often chant in candle light while rocking back and forth on the floor.

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